I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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