White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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