she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
