She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
