Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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