Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
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No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
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Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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