who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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