these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
