in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
