WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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