Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
