the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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