Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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