I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
