In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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