Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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