I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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