You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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