I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
