we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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