Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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