she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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