??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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