I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Even my vagina gasped.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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