So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
