just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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