I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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