But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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