I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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