47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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