this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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