This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
