we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
