you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
