Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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