So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
