So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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