Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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