I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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