Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
