i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
