He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
