Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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