Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
