everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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