My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
