my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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