who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
