you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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