is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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