And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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