I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
