Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
