So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
