If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
