and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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