So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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