for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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