Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
