Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
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Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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