when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I would ride that face into the sunset
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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