when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
