u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize