Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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